Mary Kay - Mother

The morning you found out about your brother Bill&...

2012-02-05T18:34:05.821-07:00

The morning you found out about your brother Bill's death on the phone, you continuously wept out loud. I remember you picked up Robb, went into another room and closed the door behind you. The message was clear that you needed to be alone.

I did breastfeed through the early month when the ...

2012-01-22T11:26:13.967-07:00

I did breastfeed through the early month when the goody things are all there. Seems what we might be pointing to is an additional factor in post-partum depression occurs when the mother is not fully cognizant when giving birth. And what a spark to it all happens when the father is there, too. The medical system denied what nature intended.

Mom, I am wondering if your bewilderment and depre...

2012-01-08T18:42:55.719-07:00

Mom, I am wondering if your bewilderment and depression after my birth also had to do with:

- Post-natal depression. You were fortunately spared the experience with your earlier 3 babies. In those days, it wasn't talked about or recognized as much.

- Because you weren't breast feeding, you weren't getting the hormones (oxytocin and prolactin) that relax the mother and make her feel more nurturing toward her baby.

- Plain exhaustion from having 3 little children. In addition, my brothers awoke at all hours of the night, and Dad studied at night at the desk near the bed.

- You were learning to spread your love among 4 children and a husband. You would eventually get better at spreading out the love throughout the family, but you had to go through a learning curve. You may have been sad and angry at yourself that it wasn't an easy transition.

- You had to come to terms in your heart that your anticipation of what you thought a baby daughter should be was only a fantasy.

- Lingering grief about the miscarriages that happened in the 3 years between Kevin and me. From my own experience, I know how a miscarriage can break the heart.

I am sorry you went through this. I feel for you because I am also a woman. You must not blame yourself. You did the best you could.

Love,
Joan Mary
x

Mary, I enjoy your write up and pictures you poste...

2011-11-05T22:56:52.831-07:00

Mary, I enjoy your write up and pictures you posted very much. my name is Michael John Bergin. My father was Leroy Michael, grand father John Edward, great grand father Michael who settled in rock county mn. You have the same white hair my father and grandfather had.
Best wishes,
Mike Bergin

I hope i find a new girl as wonderful as you Aunt ...

2011-10-23T09:32:23.980-07:00

I hope i find a new girl as wonderful as you Aunt Kay :)

:)

2011-10-23T09:28:47.370-07:00

:)

2011-10-23T09:17:34.291-07:00

At the time, I didn't care that there were new...

2011-10-21T15:33:14.110-07:00

At the time, I didn't care that there were new generations of sewing machines! I liked that old Singer!

What a fun honeymoon! Paul and I also had a great...

2011-05-28T17:11:57.126-07:00

What a fun honeymoon! Paul and I also had a great time in Maui! Those memories will always be so precious.

What a nice touch to choose Hebron Presbyterian Ch...

2011-05-27T12:54:11.708-07:00

What a nice touch to choose Hebron Presbyterian Church’s young Minster, Reverend Ted Walworth, as the best man. I am sure Dad's side of the family really appreciated it.

I just happened on your blog while searching for t...

2011-05-15T19:13:13.377-07:00

I just happened on your blog while searching for the name Mount Mary students gave to the residents. I was a Day Hop in the 1960s, and was born in Milwaukee. I certainly remember trolley buses. Thanks for the memories. BTW, do you remember if there was a nickname given to the students who lived in the dorm?
Kathy

Mom, I hope you are enjoying writing these as much...

2011-04-21T17:18:52.070-07:00

Mom, I hope you are enjoying writing these as much as I do reading them!!!!!!

How come I never heard you ever say, "Pweese,...

2011-04-21T17:00:09.968-07:00

How come I never heard you ever say, "Pweese, Brucey!" as you did then ?????? LOL

I never knew any of this, Mom! Thanks for sharing....

2011-03-31T09:45:30.426-07:00

I never knew any of this, Mom! Thanks for sharing. it's clear that the Holtan family greatly appreciated you as a person and as a live-in nanny/maid.

2011-03-31T09:44:27.928-07:00

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Oh my goodness, Mom, I have finally caught up. You...

2011-03-23T16:12:33.538-07:00

Oh my goodness, Mom, I have finally caught up. Your biography is awesome. SO much I am learning about you and your life.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this down. I only nope that it will be in print for the future generations to read.
I love this!! PLEASE DON'T STOP!!!
Love you,
Buffy

Ha ha! I can just hear your cousin Tom saying tha...

2011-03-16T14:23:41.389-07:00

Ha ha! I can just hear your cousin Tom saying that!

Sure are pretty, Mom! Look like a film star!

2011-03-16T14:12:43.743-07:00

Sure are pretty, Mom! Look like a film star!

I remember that abandoned silo pit on Granddaddy&#...

2011-03-08T18:53:09.963-07:00

I remember that abandoned silo pit on Granddaddy's farm. It was kind of fun to look down into it (under some sort of cover?) and then crawl into it, but we had to watch out for the nettles. Funny how most city parents (including me) would be terrified if their kids did that.

Didn't know you were in the Girl Scouts! Glad...

2011-01-31T16:28:38.117-07:00

Didn't know you were in the Girl Scouts! Glad you found that special teacher, Sr. Mary Edgar, in Chicago. It makes a big difference to have a teacher you love.

More and more. Fun to read. It is really becoming ...

2011-01-31T16:21:41.082-07:00

More and more. Fun to read. It is really becoming a charming biography of a young woman. "Getting to know you . . ." Maybe some dates here and there?

Do both these houses still stand? Sundown Cottage...

2011-01-27T19:24:31.272-07:00

Do both these houses still stand? Sundown Cottage and your grandparent's Fond Du Lac house? I think I recall you told me you and dad went to visit your grandparent's house a few years ago, and the current owners were very welcoming.

This looks wonderful! Looking forward to reading ...

2011-01-27T18:51:11.445-07:00

This looks wonderful! Looking forward to reading more!

Interesting the way "city folk" and &quo...

2011-01-27T13:40:19.783-07:00

Interesting the way "city folk" and "country folk" had such a variety of ways of dealing with economic catastrophe. That's what happens when a "country boy" marries a "city girl."

Wow! I could feel some of the things you are talki...

2010-10-28T11:49:01.727-07:00

Wow! I could feel some of the things you are talking about. Like the typewriter! {"Perhaps comparable to dropping a computer onto concrete?"}
It makes a difference when you put the writing with photos all together and then on line. It's like publishing a book. Each little snippet reads like their could be more! Your good!